10 Steps From Therapists on How to Break A Trauma Bond

Break A Trauma Bond

If you find yourself in an unhealthy relationship that you can’t escape, you may be suffering from a trauma bonded relationship. A trauma bond is a psychological reaction that occurs when a victim of abuse forms an unhealthy connection to their abuser or a toxic person. Trauma ties may form in any circumstance in which one person exploits another and are not limited to romantic relationships.

Trauma bonds are more than just a difficult relationship: they are firmly based on our fundamental desire for security and attachment. According to Laguna, M.G, a medical expert, the abusive partner possesses great control and power, which, combined with shame and disgrace, makes leaving hard for the abused person.

But how to break a trauma bond from toxic and abusive relationships? There are steps you may take in breaking free and finding a healing  journey if you are trapped in trauma bonds or find it difficult to move on after terminating a trauma bond relationship. Read on to find out.

10 Steps on How to Break A Trauma Bond

Apart from seeking professional treatment if you experience trauma bonding from toxic relationships, here are ten therapist-recommended steps to help you when trauma bonds occur in a toxic relationship:

1. Educate Yourself

Discover the telltale symptoms of physical abuse in relationships. Understand what a healthy relationship looks like so you can tell the difference.

2. Give Yourself Some Space

You might sometimes be so close to a situation that you can’t see it properly. Step back and distance yourself from the abusive individual so you can view the relationship for what it is. Space allows you to think clearly.

3. Take Care of Yourself

Activities that enhance both emotional and physical well-being are examples of self-care. These activities are nourishing, gratifying, and beneficial. MIDSS says that effective self-care relieves stress, teaches you to appreciate yourself, and teaches you to depend on yourself for comfort rather than an abusive spouse. Self-care may entail things like:

• Journaling
• Listening to music
• Exercising
• Spending time with respected friends and relatives
• Relaxation practices like meditation or yoga
• Getting restorative, good sleep
• Engaging in a pastime or activity that you like
• Eating properly

4. Build Healthy Relationships

Let yourself connect with individuals who are safe both physically and emotionally. Cultivate healthy communication and self-advocacy. Having good interactions reinforces your capacity to establish healthy attachments.

5. Be Kind to Yourself

Being in an abusive relationship may affect your self-confidence, emotional well-being, and mental health. Note the words you use to speak to yourself. Remind yourself frequently that you have many excellent characteristics and that you deserve to be happy.Give yourself a break when you make a mistake. It takes time to adjust to a new way of life.

6. Focusing on the Present Now

Keeping in the present moment helps you to view the relationship and the abusive person for what they are right now. Wishing for a better outcome or reminiscing about the “good days” reduces the current hazards and makes it more appealing to continue in the relationship.

7. Find Support

Consider joining a support group. A support group allows you to speak openly about your experience and listen to the experiences of others. Realizing that you are not alone in your experience can be aided by talking to people who have been through comparable circumstances.

8. Make Future Plans

Consider how you want your future to seem. Let yourself imagine a better future and prepare to achieve it.

9. Let Yourself Heal

You deserve to be well and happy. It is not selfish to want these things. The first step is giving yourself the freedom to do what you need to do to participate in the healing process. You can evolve and leave settings and relationships that no longer serve you.

10. Understand the Hook

Determine precisely what you are losing. It may all be fiction, a dream, or an illusion. Maybe your lover had persuaded you that they would meet some deep, unfulfilled desire. After you’ve determined what this need (or hook) is, you may begin the process of mourning. Keeping your hands open while grieving requires letting go (figuratively). You let go of the assumption that your need would never be satisfied. This connection will not, at the very least, meet it.

Signs You Are Suffering From A Traumatic Bonding

Like a post-trauma stress disorder, trauma bonding is a strong emotional connection that develops due to the cycle of loving conduct and abuse. Being the subject of violent conduct, tremendous affection, and generosity, the victim may struggle to make sense of their powerful feelings. Humans like to feel loved. Therefore they may be motivated to remain with someone who exhibits compassion and kindness at times, even if there is other undesirable conduct. Here are the signs if you suffering from trauma bonds:

• Cycle of abuse
• Power imbalances
• Being unable to leave
• Making justifications for inappropriate behavior
• Keeping the abuse hidden
• Wanting to “please” the abuser
• Distancing yourself from those who are attempting to help you
• Fixating on “the good days”
• Hoping to change them
• Wanting love despite the abuse

The Bottom Line

Let the betrayal and trauma flow through you as you move through the complexities of loss and sadness, but don’t allow it to become self-blame.

If you are suffering from troubles or abuse in your relationship and believe you may be in a trauma, remember that you can learn how to break a trauma bond. Engaging with a therapist and contacting your professional support network may significantly improve your feelings and what you can do next.